To Everything I’ve Lost 

I think about all the times I’ve “lost” something I thought I couldn’t live without. Things. People. Pointless goals I thought I absolutely needed to achieve- (this one, Especially.) How hard it was to let go of at the time.

It’s amazing how hard we fight to keep things in our life that just don’t belong. And I get it. Letting go is so freaking hard. There are so many schools of thought that say you have to fight and fight and fight for what you want. And that isn’t untrue, but we get so wrapped up that sometimes we don’t notice when things stop adding value to our lives. We don’t even notice when they drain us. But when something becomes more negative than positive, it is time to let it go.

One great example for my life is bodybuilding. Before Jiu Jitsu, I was a figure competitor. I thought that was my calling. But, at the time, deep down, I hated it. I was miserable. But, I thought it was the only way I’d be successful, so I clung tightly to that goal. I thought I HAD to do it. Until one day, I broke. And close to the end of my competition prep for a big competition, I just quit. To pursue MMA. Great decision. But I should have quit trying to compete- or taken a break- long before that day came. I just did not realize that competing was draining me. 

I think when the universe, God, whatever it is you believe in, is trying to tell you to let something go or that it’s time for something new, your life will become so uncomfortable that you have no choice but to change it.
Now, I think about how at peace I am with the things I’ve “lost” and I laugh that I ever got so upset about them. 

I will never regret any thing, person or goal that was in my life because at one time it was what I wanted. But looking back, I realize how much peace and mental clarity I lost trying to hold on to things that weren’t meant for me- or meant for me at the time.  

But now, when the universe tries to tell me to let something go, I try to let it be. Because I don’t want to waste my peace, my time, my mental clarity on things that just aren’t meant for me anymore. 

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